Joey Amor says his wife, Army Sgt. 1st Class Nicole Amor, was “the rock” and “the glue” for those around her — a role he says defined her life and service before she was killed earlier this month during the war with Iran.
“In a moment of chaos or darkness or concern or fear or uncertainty, she anchored them,” he told CBS News in an exclusive interview, adding the soldiers that served alongside Nicole “all say the same thing” about her.
Nicole, of White Bear Lake, Minnesotawas one of six Army Reserve soldiers killed in an Iranian drone strike in Kuwait on March 1, the day after the U.S. and Israel launched a massive military operation in Iran. They were assigned to the 103rd Sustainment Command based in Des Moines, Iowa.
Joey Amor said he became concerned when he saw news reports of an explosion that had struck a sustainment unit in Kuwait.
“When I heard it was a sustainment unit based out of Kuwait, I know enough about what’s going on over there to know there were very few left over there, I knew it was her unit,” Joey Amor said.
He said he shared his concern in his final messages to her.
“I sent her a text and I said, ‘I’m getting worried. I’m getting worried. We’re getting reports of a sustainment unit, three casualties, five injured, I’m gonna need to hear something from you today, my love.'”
About an hour and a half later, he learned she had been killed. She was just days from returning home.
“And I don’t know how to explain that to you, I don’t know how to explain knowing before you know, and then to be told what you already know, after not being able to see your person for that long,” Joey Amor said. “I can’t put that into words. That was painful.”
Nicole was buried in Minnesota last weekend, an ending Joey Amor never expected when she left for her second tour last July. When they said goodbye, his wife had said, “I’ll see you soon,” he recalled.
Asked how he explains Nicole’s death to their children, Joey Amor said he’s “been very honest with them and transparent with them.”
“You can only protect them from the truth for so long,” he continued. “And the reality is, is that there is no protecting them from the truth that their mother is gone. And so you have to handle each one differently. My daughter’s one way, my son’s a different.”
The couple had been part of each other’s lives for more than 20 years. They met while serving at Fort Eustis in Virginia and married in 2015.
When Joey Amor left the military in 2012, Nicole insisted on staying. Her service “grew into a sense of duty and a sense of responsibility, a sense of pride,” he said. It also meant “taking care of the one next to her.”
Now, Joey Amor and their children are also part of the Gold Star families, the immediate family members of service members who have died in the line of duty serving the United States.
“It is a community of people that have felt what we are feeling right now, and that are still feeling this every day,” he said. “And it’s a group of families that you respect and that we all honor as the nation, but we never truly understand the weight unless you’re a part of it.”
Joey Amor keeps replaying the last moments he shared with Nicole, as well as the final moments their two children had with their mother.
“And they were so comfortable because we thought she was safe,” he said.
As painful as it is to look back, it also hurts to look forward. But Joey Amor and their two children hope to grow an unconventional memorial: a special greenhouse in Nicole’s honor.
“It was a calming place for her,” Joey Amor said of Nicole’s love of gardening, adding: “She loved watching what it turned into…and it always took on a life of its own.”
Operation Nikki’s Embrace is raising funds for “gardens, greenhouses, community spaces, and acts of service,” according to its website, and a greenhouse will be built in Nicole’s honor.
“At the core of it is this little greenhouse that I will get to spend the rest of my life maintaining and growing,” Joey Amor said. “And I can’t be more thankful for that. It’s going to be an honor, it’s going to be a joy, it’s going to be wonderful.”